Stop Mo Fo Sho

Oh, how I enjoy stop-and-go motion pictures.

The only thing worth resting my bottom on.

Buy me it here!

It's a chair, by the way.

Champion Mofos

This one goes out to my gurl Justine.  You rock!  Also, you are one intimidating mofo.  With your black tape on your inner thighs and your cold sores and your industrial-strength one-hander backhand swing.  None of which are shown in the above picture, by the way.  Hmm, I guess I should change that or something.

And speaking of mofos with menacing personas, Andy Murray has made it to men's single finals.  Will he take on that Tsonga fellow or the grand-slammiest of them all, Roger Federererer?  We shall soon find out, won't we.  I'm hoping for Murray vs. R.Fed, and then Murray for the title.  Your thoughts?

Sure is frightening, isn't he?  I wonder if he qualifies as an ogre.  He's British, after all.  Maybe an ogre battling manorexia.

The Lust List

As you all know, my b-day is heretofore a-coming. Ya betta believe it, nephew! As such is the appropriate thing one does when one's b-day is approaching, I recently posted my modest, my unpretentious, my scantily-clad, wish list on my evil step-sister blog. While you could get me any of the measly items I've listed there, you could truly tickle me pink by gifting me with any (or all) of the following. I present to you, the Lust List.




Bremont's ALT1-C watches in black/black or brown/cream.  Mmmm, cream.






Mother eff, I want an Apple iPad.  Is that too too much to ask?





The Jaguar XF, but in that totes awesome shiny brown.






Justin Bieber.  Just one time, baby.  Then there would be one less lonely girl.  (Get it?  I used his titles in the previous two sentences.  See if you can spot them.  Go on.)




I tell you, this list is making my cake all moisty right now.  More to follow, but that's all for now.

Dream on, my friends. Dream on.

2010, I Heart U

Wow. Two-thousand and nine (2009, for those of you who, like myself, have difficulty reading spellt-out numbers) was horrendous. Bloggings-wise, at least. In comparison, 2008 saw thirty three (33) postings from myself whereas 2009 saw a measly three posts. To that--nay, to me, I say "Boo!" and direct my downwards turned thumb at the scum bag staring at me from the mirror.

It's 2010 now, so I say "Bygones!" to the 2009 me. I think this year will be awesomeness, to say the least. This year, you see, will be the year of many firsts and many lasts. Intrigued, are you? Then let's do this:

FIRSTS:
- climb Everest
- bake my own dang red velvet cake
- live all by my lonesome
- earn me some paper
- lesbian experience
- speed dating (just for fun, y'all)
- sing the national anthem for a packed stadium
- throw the opening pitch
- get published
- participate in the running of the bulls

LASTS
- time I say it's 2009 and be telling the truth
- get into a girl fight at a gay bar (it's not worth it)
- get caught with my pants down (figuratively)
- put my fist through a wall
- get the Spanish flu
- lose at Jenga, checkers, or dance competitions

This list is not comprehensive. Duh. Ok, I'm tired of typing. My fingers are still numb from punching that wall after I lost at Jenga.

<3, Jenni. Follow me on Twitter!