My new favorite things, in no particular order, are: Tyra Banks, my betta fish Kevin, Kevin, salt-water taffy, fresh-water eel, sweater vests, puppy tails, clicky pens, cellular phones, recycling bottles, recycling undergarments, 12-hour shifts, faux hawks on girls, Med-Surg textbooks, the letter "t", apple-cinnamon nail polish, nail polish in general, Tyra Banks, Windows Vista, "Say What You Need to Say" by John Mayer, bounding pulses, esophagogastroduodenoscopies, certain neuro doctors, working out my biceps, blogging, enthusiasm, sarcasm, spasm, orgasm (just kidding, mom), stick-figure drawings, German engineering, Chinese Americans, self-help books, typing with my eyes closed, lists of people's favorites, Olde English poetry, imaginary life partners, Barack Obama, Barack Obama's mole, Barack Obama's svelteness, children, chicken pot pie dinners, and the recreational use of indwelling catheters. This last one I'll touch upon in a forthcoming post.
What what, up the butt?
Dingleberries. Those, by the way, have moved up on Jennifer's Top 101 Favourite Things of All Time to No. 12 after Fanny Pak was booted from America's Best Dance Cru. ABDC, formerly No. 12 on my Top 101, is presently completely off my list. We'll give you one more chance, ABDC, to win my fandomship yet. (I can't wait till next season!)
The Fanny Pak
No. 41: The shewee
Come on, advertising firm responsible for this lame-o slogan! Surely, you can do better! I mean, this thing allows women to void whilst standing, say, in line at the check-out of the grocery or for tickets to see Rod Stewart live in concert. They need a better slogan. One that commands attention, much like Janet Jackson's third nipple. Something like, "You dress like a man. You smell like a man. Now pee like a man." Or something to that effect.
And for those too lazy to click on that link, here's a picture of one.
Now here's a picture of one in use.
Why else would she be smiling?
It boggles the mind.
First off, pardon my lame title. I'm in no mood right now. And second, it started when I was playing Boggle with my friend whom we will call Ashley Tisdale. I was wondering if testiculatory was a legit word to use, so I looked it up online. I came across a number of porn sites and "medical" web sites whose sources were nothing if not questionable. And no, testiculatory is not a word for reals.
Recipe: Jennifer's dingleberry delight
Okay, everyone. It's time for numero 47 of my favorite things: recipes! (See my post titled Jennifer's Top One Hundred and One Favorite Things of All Time.) This recipe is especially delicious because its key ingredient also made my Top 101: dingleberries! (No. 13)
Jennifer's Dingleberry Delight
This goes perfectly on warm home-made pancakes, in yoghurts, or on your fingers to lick.
You'll need:
- any assortment of berries (I always use 125 blueberries)
- a varied amount of peach, sliced
- ambiguous amounts of sweetener (i.e., honey, Splenda, high fructose corn syrup)
- you-decide-how-much pure extracted vanilla
- a pat of butter or margarine
So here's what you do:
1. Wash a saucepan and place on stove
2. Set stove to medium-low. (Tip: Make sure the burner you turn on corresponds to the location of where you put your saucepan. You don't want second-degree burns on your boobs.)
C. Once pan is hot enough, melt the butter
4. Don't burn the butter!
5. Add everything else
6. Leave it there for just under 10 minutes, until it is all hot and bubbly.
7. Resist the urge to stick your tongue into the pan. It's delicious, but it's a hot mess. Trust me. (If you want Jennifer's Dingleberry Delight to be thinner, just ladle in some water. Works every time.)
8. Cool and store in a mason jar.
And there you have it!
Next time: Hot English Lads' Muffins!
You may be getting old, but I just get less young
Just wanted to be the first to say happy 22nd birthday (!) to one of my girlfriends, Kristina. You rock, dudette! So much, in fact, that if you were here now, in my bedroom at midnight, I'd give you a giant bear hug. But instead, you'll have to settle for my giant cy-bear hug. Get it? That's cyber + bear hug.
You must have made such a cute baby. Speaking of cute babies, check out this little pig born with a monkey face.
Oh, wait. Not cute.
Oh, how I miss you so!
It has been sooo long, hasn't it? Like a month, now, I think. It's because I'm in Africa. But I'll be home, soon enough. You can expect lots of postings and a malnourished me!
