No. 37: Adenosine Triphosphate

No. 37 on Jennifer's Top 101 is none other than the humble--nay, the lowly--adenosine triphosphate. Nothing would be possible if it were not for this multifunctional nucleotide. Without adenosine triphosphate, life as we know it would cease to exist. The birds would be confined to their gentle rockers, never to sing that old, familiar tune again. Noble frogs, atop delicate lily pads, would croak, mid-croak. And I, thy servantly sycophant, would be rendered nothing if not useless. My fingers would lie lifeless, never to reach the home keys that are F and J.


All right, I dont' really know what sycophant means, but the rest of it is right.

Now, the waiting game.

I've just sent out a number of invitations to various colleagues and friends to contribute to Gibberish: Part Deux. To answer the question on everybody's mind (that, being "Why would you allow others to taint the goodness that is Gibberish: Part Deux?"), I offer this simple explanation. I want my blog, and my mind, to be open to the masses. Now, the waiting game.

Tsk tsk, me. Tsk tsk.

I'm so disappointed that I haven't blogged in a while, especially in my original blog, Gibberish the First. Tsk tsk, me. Tsk tsk.

More favorite things, from Jenni.

My new favorite things, in no particular order, are: Tyra Banks, my betta fish Kevin, Kevin, salt-water taffy, fresh-water eel, sweater vests, puppy tails, clicky pens, cellular phones, recycling bottles, recycling undergarments, 12-hour shifts, faux hawks on girls, Med-Surg textbooks, the letter "t", apple-cinnamon nail polish, nail polish in general, Tyra Banks, Windows Vista, "Say What You Need to Say" by John Mayer, bounding pulses, esophagogastroduodenoscopies, certain neuro doctors, working out my biceps, blogging, enthusiasm, sarcasm, spasm, orgasm (just kidding, mom), stick-figure drawings, German engineering, Chinese Americans, self-help books, typing with my eyes closed, lists of people's favorites, Olde English poetry, imaginary life partners, Barack Obama, Barack Obama's mole, Barack Obama's svelteness, children, chicken pot pie dinners, and the recreational use of indwelling catheters. This last one I'll touch upon in a forthcoming post.

What what, up the butt?

Dingleberries. Those, by the way, have moved up on Jennifer's Top 101 Favourite Things of All Time to No. 12 after Fanny Pak was booted from America's Best Dance Cru. ABDC, formerly No. 12 on my Top 101, is presently completely off my list. We'll give you one more chance, ABDC, to win my fandomship yet. (I can't wait till next season!)


The Fanny Pak

No. 41: The shewee

No. 41 on Jennifer's Top One Hundred and One Favorite Things of All Time is none other than the Shewee. Heralded for pioneering the way for women to break that mold, it is advertised as "the portable urinating device for women."

Come on, advertising firm responsible for this lame-o slogan! Surely, you can do better! I mean, this thing allows women to void whilst standing, say, in line at the check-out of the grocery or for tickets to see Rod Stewart live in concert. They need a better slogan. One that commands attention, much like Janet Jackson's third nipple. Something like, "You dress like a man. You smell like a man. Now pee like a man." Or something to that effect.

And for those too lazy to click on that link, here's a picture of one.

Now here's a picture of one in use.

Why else would she be smiling?

It boggles the mind.

First off, pardon my lame title. I'm in no mood right now. And second, it started when I was playing Boggle with my friend whom we will call Ashley Tisdale. I was wondering if testiculatory was a legit word to use, so I looked it up online. I came across a number of porn sites and "medical" web sites whose sources were nothing if not questionable. And no, testiculatory is not a word for reals.